Farewell loving blog

I am saying farewell to my loving therapeutic blog. The time is coming near for me to give birth to my little miracle baby and this blog is not the place for me to update info about the baby.

Thank you so much for reading and being interested in my blog. I hope that my story and situation can give hope to those dealing with MFIF like me and my husband did. Research everything you can on your own, get healthy, exercise, eat fresh veggies and fruit, take vitamins. Don't give up!!!

Oops! Hello!

Hello blog! I have abandoned you for too long. Short story - everything's great! My baby shower is on saturday and I am sooooo excited for it! I probably won't be able to sleep friday night. My placenta was in danger of covering my cervix, but at my 27 week visit yesterday it is fine and i won't need a c-section, yay!!!

My bump is nice and big and i love it. I definitely look pregnant. I've gained about 22 pounds so far, more than i thought. But i'm not concerned. I've been working out and doing my weight class, eating healthy for one. So its not like i'm pigging out for 2 and not exercising . . . i'm doing all i can to be healthy, so I'm not concerned about the weight.

thats my baby!

I can't believe I'm already in my third trimester... time is flying by!!!! but thats good b/c it means i'll meet my baby even sooner! but i LOVE being pregnant and feeling happy and pretty everyday. i love having a bump. i hope i won't be addicted to wanting to be pregnant . . .

Week 21

Baby boy is doing great! I'm pretty sure we have his whole name picked out! But we won't tell until he's born! But it's a family name - my great uncle, a thai name, Hubby's name, and then the last name. Yep, this little boy is having a total of 4 names! It's only because daddy is being a name hog.
He doesn't like the idea of the baby having 3 names, but i dont like the idea of the baby having his first and last name . . . so 3 names is the compromise!

I can't believe how big he's getting. He's kicking and punching a lot more! I'm excited to get Hubby started on the nursery! I want to put the clothes I've bought in the dresser and paint. I'm painting an image on top of a painting that i did in college. I can't wait to see what he looks like. I've got a while to find out!

It's a . . . .

BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!! BOY!!!

Baby boy is healthy and happy! We got some amazing ultrasound pictures. He was moving around alot!!! Probably because I ate a swedish fish candy before the appointment . . . hey, i had to make sure that he'd show his goodies! I'm excited that we have a sweet name picked out already, and we didn't have a name we loved for a girl! I know i will love this boy with all my heart, but I am also waiting for my little girl!!!



I bought some cute clothes. I'm going for a whole "Benjamin Button" old man look. Cute little hats, sweater vests, little old man shoes. We're excited and happy!

19 Weeks!!!

Wow, my baby is half a foot long!!! Can't wait till friday! Can't wait till friday! Can't wait till friday! Can't wait till friday! Can't wait till friday! Can't wait till friday! Can't wait till friday! Can't wait till friday!
I love this picture. Poor baby is all squished...I wonder if i've been feeling a knee and not a kick.

Thumper

I've been feeling the baby kick and thump around . . . not completely convinced if it was the baby or not . . . but i know for sure now!!! And Hubby felt it last night for the first time ever! It was awesome!!! You can't predict when the baby will kick, it may kick once and then not kick for another hour or so. We were watching tv and the cat was sitting on me and i felt the baby move around (we ate taco's for dinner, I hear that baby's like mexican). So i stuck my hand under my shirt and sure enough felt movement. But was it me breathing? Was it my stomach digesting? I got Hubby to lean over and press on belly and sure enough he felt it thump too!!! We had to mute the TV and sit for a second or two to make sure it was the baby. Hubby thought it was me breathing . . . i guess when its this small your brain still isnt convinced that there's something in there. I thought this would be one of those tearful moments, but like the other things it was not emotional like i had thought (first ultrasound, first listen to the heartbeat). I think i'll cry on friday when i find out the gender!

18 weeks! Only 1 week and 1.25 days till we find out the gender. Qaud screen test came back negative! We have a healthy baby, so far! That was great to hear.
The baby almost weighs 8oz. This cowboy honey bear weighs 8 oz! I was craving white bread with butter last night. I'm craving country fried steak again. P.aula De.ane needs to chill. I'm doing surprisingly well with not over eating or cheating or snacking. My appetite has not really increased yet. I eat 3 meals and 2 healthy snacks a day, I'm sure that's helping. And probably why I'm craving such fatty bad food. I hope I don't start getting really strong food cravings and won't be able to stop myself. I don't want to have to work hard to lose the baby weight.

I can't wait to help plan the baby shower. I'm on the fence about inviting my MIL and her sisters . . . i honestly just want it to be 20 or so girlfriends and my sisters. My mom can come, I don't care. I don't want to be stressed and have to make sure that my MIL and AIL's are enjoying themselves.

I also can't wait for New Moon to come to theaters!

17 Weeks

17 weeks!!! Not much new to report. I made a dress to wear to a wedding and it was a hit! I got really picky about what i wanted to wear, so i thought, why dont i whip something up. and i did. and it was awesome! my hubby was so proud of me, people complimented me on it before knowing that i made it. i felt great!

we will have the gender ultrasound at 19 weeks 4 days, sept. 25th. I AM BEYOND EXCITED! i have a feeling its a girl . . . we'll see how i feel next week!

16 weeks = 4 months!

4 Months!!!

Yay! A little mile marker! I feel great, i haven't hit that magical 2nd trimester of getting my energy back yet. I'm excited to be eating SUPER healthy again! Ton of veggies, but not craving salmon yet. No biggie. I had my first preggo charlie horse leg cramp last night and it SUCKED! I've gotten them tons before and know to slowly flex my foot, but when you wake up to pain in the middle of the night your body feels frozen and every move feels painful, its scary! mmm, I want an avocado so bad!!!

I've been craving fried southern food lately! I was craving country fried steak, and it had to wait 3 days to have it, and it was AMAZING. I want fried chicken, K.FC chicken bowls . . . mmm anything fried. But I'm not indulging one bit! I have one cheat day a week and normally it ends up being one meal - like something fried. It's hard to not eat sweets during the day, but luckily I'm glued to my desk at work and can't have the liberty to go to the store and buy something! I joke that i have a little Paula Deane in my stomach.

Speaking of a little Paula Deane vs. a little Paul Deane, I got up the nerve to call my dr. a week before i'm going to see her for the triple screen blood test, to see if she'd let me schedule my ultrasound appointment now, over the phone. I started thinking how i will be 17 weeks when i see her, and i didn't want the appointments to fill up in the next 3 weeks for the gender ultrasound. And hubby works mon-fri - 12 hour shifts the whole week of my 20th week. And heaven forbid if i have to wait until my 21st week to find out the gender! So i called and left the nurse a message, i didnt think she'd call me back, but she did! And i got the exact time and day appointment that i needed . . . . We will find out the gender of this little baby on Sept. 25th at 9am. I CAN'T WAIT!!! And hubby will be there with me! I'm going to make either blue or pink centered cupcakes for work!

And I finally came to and am back to being honestly happy with a little boy or girl!

15 Weeks

Um, 15 week marker went by. Onto next week!

Week 14 ***Second Trimester Begins Now***

Helllllllllllo Second Trimester!!!

Wow, I'm in the 2nd trimester already! It's going so fast, I don't want it to end, but i want it to hurry up, but not too fast, sleepless nights and poopy diapers can wait. But then hurry up to baby being 3 years old, i love that age!

I've noticed that I'm hungrier now . . . i don't like this. I feel like I'm starving but i literally just ate lunch 2 hours ago. I'm able to eat salmon and veggies if they're hidden in food. Last night I ate carrots, cucumber, and garden tomatoes dipped in hummus and it was delightful! My food cravings may or may not be coming in . . . I get a craving for something for about 20 minutes, and then its gone . . . like i can taste it in my mouth . . . but not bad enough to run to the store and buy or make it. Good thing I'm stuck at work from 8:30-5pm. I was wanting fresh chocolate cake, pizza, and lemon drops, but not at the same time.

We had our 14 week Dr. appointment last night. I got to meet the Dr. that might deliver the baby, and we got to hear the heartbeat! It was great! It was 145 BPM. I don't believe the old wives tale about it being a boy or girl from the speed of the heart. My friend Erin sent me a doppler, so now that I know where to look for the baby I can try to listen to the heartbeat at home!

I love having a sister that does photography!!!! I'm going to be a spoiled pregnant lady!!!

Week 13

One more week until the second trimester!!! The baby is about 3-3.5 inches long now. Its growing so fast!!! I swore i felt the baby move at 12 weeks 4 days, but my sister is convinced that it would be impossible, she also thinks she's the only person to give birth, so if it didnt happen to her, it won't happen to anyone. I'll have to compare the real kicks to what i think i'm feeling now. . .


I called my insurance to see how much delivery would cost me, they said nothing . . . but then asked if i joined the Future Moms Program and if i did then my $300 hospital in-patient co-pay would be waved, awesome, BUT, you didnt mention that there would be a co-pay, when i asked you how much it will cost, I expect you to tell me every little thing!!! I'll have to call again in a month and be more specific.
The stupid HR lady that represents the east coast office hasn't returned my call or email since last Thursday. I need to know all the details about taking the 12 weeks of unpaid leave. grrrr . . .
Ok, so other than those small things, life is great, i feel good, almost more tired now than before. I've had 2 instances of feeling like a panic attack or passing out was going to happen, I'll have to ask my doctor about that . . . kind of scary. Dr.'s appointment is next Tuesday, we'll get to hear the heartbeat!!!

12 weeks!!!

Woot Woot! 12 weeks!!!

I'm actually kind of 12.5 weeks now. Time is flying!!! It's crazy to think that after my next dr.s visit the one after I may be finding out the gender of the baby! Granted, it's still 2 months away, I will have gone to the 2 weddings that were on my "What if I'm pregnant" mind when i was TTC. And they're finally here, and I'm actually pregnant for them. I can't wait to buy a snug dress to show off my bump. Last week was amazing, I really loved all the nice comments people left me on f.ace.boo.k. It made it feel more real. I'm going to post some pics on there, and feel bad, i have some infertile friends on there . . . but i can't go around feeling bad about hurting people's feelings my whole pregnancy, i'm not going to hide my kid from them or not talk about them . . . torn.

And hey, to all you mom's that say you didn't show until month 5 or 6 months, guess what, you are WRONG!!! Haha, j/k everyone's body is different. I really wanted to show early, maybe my body was warning my that I'd show early, I'm 5' 2.5" tall - I'm showing. In some clothes it looks like chubby fat, in tight shirts it looks more round and bump like. And its more prominent at the end of the day. I'm sure people that don't know me would think i was chunky . . . but its new and its there, and I've only gained 1 pound! Which I'm really surprised about - with not being able to work out as much, and eating a little bit of carb food, i thought the weight would add on fast. I think pregnant women have super fast metabolism's or maybe their bodies are working really hard to grow a baby, anyhow, working out is 5x's as hard for me, I'm hungry a lot, and all i want are carbs. Mac'n'cheese, pancakes, fried chicken. But i'm not craving sweets and i'm glad about that.

Celebratory Cupcakes!

Were a HIT!

It's true, everyone loves cupcakes! I made a little sign that said "Please enjoy the chocolate covered cherry cupcakes and get fat with me over the next 6 months, surprise, I'm pregnant!" It's been a really great day.

Whew!!!

Ok, so I thought I was going to be telling my boss and the "HR" lady on Wednesday (tomorrow) that I'm pregnant. But my coworker informed me that she overheard that my boss was leaving to go on vacation for a week and a half RIGHT NOW! He wasn't supposed to leave until Friday. So I grabbed the HR lady, Patty, and said, I need to talk with you and Jeff.

We went into Jeff's office and closed the door and said I needed to talk to them about something. Jeff's first reaction was, "you're not quitting are you?" He was serious. Hahaha! I said, no, I'm pregnant and will be 12 weeks tomorrow! I firmly told them that I will be coming back after maternity leave and that I’m not quitting and that I wouldn’t be able to pay my bills without this job. Jeff asked if it’s a girl or boy and if I’ll name it Patty or Jeff, what a kidder!

Patty asked more sensible questions like morning sickness stuff. I mentioned that I was being as professional as I could since I wasn’t acting like a crazy biotch at work and am almost done with the first trimester, and that I will continue to try to not act crazy. I don’t think they realized that 12 weeks meant that I’d been pregnant for 3 months and that bad symptoms are usually gone by this point . . . or they thought morning sickness lasted longer . . . I told Jeff that I’d been putting my feet on the chair b/c my back hurts and he said he didn’t care.

Jeff thought I’d only take 8 weeks of leave but I reminded him that in the handbook it says I can take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave. Patty confirmed. And then Jeff mentioned the idea of me bringing the Mac to my house and working from home, for a few weeks! I tried to get him to be more specific – like being on leave for 8 weeks and then 4 weeks of working from home, but he said he’d have to work it out with upper bosses on Thursday.

I’m so excited!!! I was so nervous! What a relief! I'm going to make cupcakes for everyone else tomorrow with a note saying something like . . . "Please get fat with me over the next 6 months, I'm pregnant." I don't want it to hurt anyone's feelings . . . but cupcakes make everything better!

Baby Brain

Baby Brain Story of the Day:

Microwaved lunch at work, can't find plastic fork i got out 2 seconds earlier. Microwave dings. Get plate out of microwave, found the fork, I microwaved it with my food.

I'm starting a new thread of post's tagged as "Pregnancy Side Effects." It will be the good, the bad, the ugly and the scary things that I am experiencing.

• + I think my hair is growing faster!
  
• - Food aversions
  
• - INSANE mood swings and paranoia and impatience and sarcasm (my 11th week), I fear that I could get fired from work if I one day slip and tell my coworkers what i really think -
  
• INSANE sleepiness at 2pm, good thing my OB said i can have 2 cups of coffee - I'm am only drinking 1 cup of decaf when i need it
  
• - Hard to breathe when working out
  
• + Awesome random food cravings . . . nothing crazy, just completely random and strong and the food taste so much more enhanced and magical when you eat it!
  
• - The diahreeha or constipation, oneday I'm good, the next I' backed up.
• - The baby brain!!! It hit me, I am now acting like a dumb blonde, forgetting what I'm doing or forgetting that I just asked something and then ask again.
  

Week 11

Yay! I'm at 11 weeks. Time is moving fast but slow. I guess since I've been looking forward to week 12 so much time has been going by faster . . . my next date to look forward to will be week 20 to find out the gender of the baby, and that will take FOREVER to get there!!! oh well. Apparently the baby can move its arms and like to touch its face, its starting to have feelings in the skin! I wonder what a kick will feel like . . .

I still read my friends blogs that I've meet through the infertility ring, and check up on the ladies at WebMD, and my heart goes out to all of them. When i went to WebMD everyday to chat with my 6+months and over group, I used to wonder if the girls who got pregnant lurked us and smiled and gloated at our misfortune . . . I don't, it still makes me sad, and I still feel guilty everytime I write a post about what week I'm on. I just wish infertility wasn't a problem. Or babies should be granted to loving couples or single women who need children.

And on a completely different hypocritical side to this is that I will be posting an announcement on my f.ace.bo.ok page next wednesday. Probably my 8 week ultrsound and a wall post of "1+1=3" . . . I know, i'm lame, and yes, i've been thinking about what i will post on FB since the weekend I got pregnant. Just as did when i got engaged and married. I will write my one infertile coworker a card on tuesday for her to take home to read letting her know that I am pregnant and wanted to give her time in private to hear the news, and that work will know the following day. I will google search nice things to say because I'm horrible at writing cards . . . I can't wait to be able to share the news with everyone. And to tell my other stupid coworker how dumb her little sister is for announcing that she was pregnant the day she missed her period, because it's been a lot of fun hearing dumb coworker talk about her dumb sister and how "hormonal" she is (she's in week 6). Gimme a break. And it's a little annoying at how dumb coworker talks about her pregnant sister ALL THE TIME, when she knows that I've been trying for a long time and the infertile coworker is dealing with adoption. Dumb people!!!

10 weeks!

10 weeks today!!! woooohooo!!! My little baby looks like a mini baby. It's over an inch long, and is growing FINGERNAILS! and toenails!!! Keep it up little baby, hang in there and keep growing strong.

I can't tell if my stomach looking bigger is from bloating or weight gain or if its . . . the beginning of a bump!!! I do realize that women who've had babies before like to say they didnt see a bump until 5 months or 6 months . . . but they were not paying attention to their bodies. I feel like I'm getting fat, I see new cellulite on my thighs . . . the baby is doing it . . . i do not care about healthy weight gain. I hope its a girl. I want my bump. I want to make sure everything is going well. I won't have a dr's appointment until Aug. 18, 2 weeks after I announce my pregnancy, that doesnt sound like a smart thing to do . . . but i can't wait till week 14 to announce it - i'll be in my second trimester!!!

First Dr.'s appointment First Ultrasound

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEW! What a relief!!! Baby is growing just fine, has a strong heartbeat of 160, and measures at 9 weeks today! One day ahead of schedule. It's pretty blurry, but ultrasounds are pretty non-detailed anyhow. The little round things are arms!!! The thing that looks like an umbilical cord is actual the yolk sac - the baby lives on this until the placenta starts growing.

The ultrasound process was not painful, i had heard that a large instrument was inserted into you for the first ultrasound, it was nothing! And no, I'm not large down there. We could see the heart beating on the computer, but it's too small to hear at 9 weeks. She showed us where the blood was circulating too. I guess the baby is right above my pubic bone, no where near my muffin top (fatty waist area). I think I'm starting to gain the ugly 1st Trimester chub. Or maybe its because I'm not running as much - i get out of breath faster and it just seems a lot harder. This is a fact verified by the doctor, i am not insane for thinking running is harder. I'm having a really easy pregnancy so far, I'm very lucky. Just queasiness and food aversions. But I've been feeling great the past couple of days. I have to eat a snack every 3 hours or I'll feel queasy. I wasn't into ground beef for a little bit, but i'm back to my carnivorous self now. The thought of steamed spinach or kale makes me want to gag - i used to eat those at least once a week. The idea of baked salmon also makes me want to gag.

We'll be able to announce it to our friends around Aug.5th. My next appointment is Aug. 18, we'll get to hear the heartbeat! And the last week of September i will be 20 weeks and we'll hopefully find out the gender of the baby!